Keepers

Keepers

HOW TO GET FROM MONDAY TO FRIDAY WITH YOUR SANITY AND KITCHEN INTACT

Psych Yourself Up

There is a mom we know who is not what one might call a confident cook. About a year ago, she came by for a strong cup of tea and some gossip while the kids chased each other around the backyard. After the cups were emptied and the town scuttlebutt was exchanged, she looked at her watch and declared: '?Well, time to go home and burn the dinner.'? And she wasn't kidding. She was already anticipating utter failure even before turning on the stove. Was this fatalism? Realism? Both?

We're the first to admit that cooking regularly'"or more accurately, having to cook regularly'"can be stressful and tedious. Even if you are someone who truly relishes cooking, there are likely days when you just want someone else to do it for you. Further complicating the issue is that cooking (particularly for those you love) isn't just a logistical feat'"an equation involving time, ingredients, budgeting, skill, and desire. It's also an emotional endeavor. You, the cook, are putting yourself out there. You are making something that will feed and nourish someone. How will they react? Will they chew mutely? Tell you that this is the most delicious pot pie they've ever eaten? Admit that they prefer Grandma's version? Clean their plates and ask for seconds? Or say something like, '?Tomorrow, let's just order in.'?

Maybe they don't know it, but you will be waiting for some kind of (hopefully positive, but at the very least constructive) response. None of us should underestimate the importance of complimenting, or simply acknowledging someone's cooking. Just knowing that their efforts were appreciated can be enough to inspire the most reluctant cook to keep at it. Even seasoned home cooks and professional chefs puff up from a rave review.

Our sense is that the aforementioned friend just needed some encouragement rather than a fire extinguisher. Maybe her doomsday attitude was the result of some unsuccessful or lackluster meals. Maybe she doubted her cooking abilities, or felt overwhelmed by the weeknight dinner rush. Sound familiar? We have since talked to many people who've admitted they have little faith in their cooking ability. For anyone who fits into this category, here's what we'd like you to know:

• YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Every night of the week, there are countless cooks who are stumped by planning a menu, feel challenged at the stove, or grow weary just thinking about getting dinner on the table. Take heart in the power of numbers.

• WHEN YOU'RE THE COOK, YOU'RE THE BOSS. Sure, you can prepare extra vegetables or a bigger salad for the vegetarian, or reserve some unsauced pasta for the picky eater, or leave the salmon off the plate of the fish hater, but don't turn into everyone's short-order cook.

• START SIMPLY. Before you tackle osso buco, work on a brag-worthy vinaigrette. Move on from there.

• EVERYONE MESSES UP. Keep calm, carry on, learn from your mistakes.

• BREATHE. When things get stressful in the kitchen, take a deep breath, ask for help when you need it, and pat yourself on the back no matter how the meal turns out.

• BE THE COOK YOU WANT TO BE. Just because you weren't tied to your grandmother's apron strings or were raised on frozen chicken nuggets doesn't mean it's too late to become an excellent home cook. Anyone who wants to do it, can. Just be determined, open-minded, and persistent.

• FIND THE JOY. Cooking should be fun, empowering even. Put on your favorite music, pour a glass of wine, admire how a sharp knife slices through a ripe tomato, savor the aroma of caramelizing onions, congratulate yourself on how evenly you seared the pork chops. When you start to enjoy the process of cooking, everything else gets easier, too.