Excerpt
Balancing in Heels
If you had asked me 10 years ago when I was going to have kids, I would have told you I'd be the last one of my friends, because my entire world revolved only around me. At the time, I was more concerned about my career. Settling down was the last thing on my mind because I was having too much fun. But meeting Jay and a few years of growing up changed everything.
So, at just 24 years old, I became pregnant with my first. It was interesting timing considering Jay and I had only recently gotten back together after breaking off our engagement. But after 3 months of working on the relationship and being back together, we completely committed to our future together. Conceiving Camden was an in-the-moment decision that we both felt strongly about; it would end up being the best thing we ever did.
PREGNANCY
In November 2011, I had just finished taping the season finale of Dancing with the Stars and Jay was smack in the middle of the football season and had just broken his thumb. When I joined him in Vail where he was to get surgery on his hand, we took a pregnancy test, even though I thought it was a long shot since we hadn't been together much the previous month. Sure enough, the test showed up negative. Both of us felt surprisingly let down. But we carried on, spending Thanksgiving with my dad in Laguna Beach the following day. A couple of days later, we decided I should take another test because I was still unusually late. This time the results were positive. We were both a little stunned, having convinced ourselves there wouldn't be a baby when the first pregnancy test had been negative. We kissed and hugged immediately and set off on this incredible journey together. It was an amazing time for us both. Being pregnant was the first time in my life where I felt like everything was on the right track and I was doing exactly what I was meant to be doing.
FOOD
My eating was the number one thing that changed when I became pregnant--and that effect still resonates today. Becoming pregnant made me get serious about my health. Before pregnancy, I thought zero-calorie food was good for you and every calorie was equal. Deep down, I knew that my eating habits weren't truly healthful, but I put a lot of pressure on myself to be thin. I was my own worst critic: I hated the way I looked in certain pictures. Everyone around me was tiny, and I felt like I had to be too. I thought counting calories gave me control over my body.
If it was good-quality, real food, I would give in to cravings and enjoy every second.
But when I became pregnant, I knew that everything I did, and especially what I ate, had a direct effect on my baby. I was solely responsible for the well-being of this little life and wanted only the best for him. That drastically changed my attitude toward food, which previously had been based only on eating a certain number of calories. For the first time in my life, I didn't care if I gained a lot of weight. It was a time to eat well and eat smart, and even to indulge in food that was forever off-limits in my prepregnancy life, including "fattening" things like cheese and pasta. I decided not to look at calories but instead to read ingredient labels and to reevaluate my ideas about avoiding so-called fattening foods. No matter what, I would eat only real food, no processed, chemical-laden junk. If it was good-quality, real food, I would give in to cravings and enjoy every second.
Pregnancy Snacks
I was constantly eating during pregnancy. I found it hard to eat big meals and loved grazing throughout the day. Eating smaller meals and snacking often cut down on my heartburn and kept my energy up. Some of my favorite snacks were:
• Hummus with carrot and celery sticks
• Guacamole with broccoli and cauliflower florets
• Homemade trail mix (nuts of choice, chocolate-covered goji berries, and dried cherries)
• Cheese slices with either an apple or flaxseed crackers
• A hard-cooked egg
• Smoothies (see the recipes on pages 20 and 21)
MINTY GREEN SMOOTHIEI have a smoothie almost every morning, and this one is so good you will forget it's actually healthful. The peppermint in this smoothie saved me during the first trimester of my third pregnancy. I was incredibly nauseous, and this smoothie (which tastes like an ice-cream shake) calmed my stomach.
MAKES 1 SMOOTHIE
1 1/4 cups almond milk
1 avocado, peeled and pitted
1 handful spinach, stems removed
1 frozen banana
1 heaping tablespoon honey
1/4 teaspoon spirulina powder
1/4-1/2 teaspoon peppermint extract (not oil)
In a blender, combine the almond milk, avocado, spinach, banana, honey, spirulina, and peppermint extract to taste until smooth and creamy. Pour into a glass and enjoy.
PEANUT BUTTER DELIGHT SMOOTHIEMAKES 1 SMOOTHIE
1 cup almond milk
1 frozen banana
1 handful kale, stems removed
1/4 cup peanut butter
1 tablespoon honey
1 scoop vanilla or plain protein powder
In a blender, combine the almond milk, coconut water, banana, kale, peanut butter, honey, and protein powder until smooth and creamy. Pour into a glass and enjoy.
CHOCOLATE FIX SMOOTHIEMAKES 1 SMOOTHIE
1-1 1/2 cups almond milk
1/2 avocado
1 handful spinach
1 frozen banana
1 heaping tablespoon raw honey
1 tablespoon raw cacao powder
1 teaspoon maca powder
In a blender, combine the almond milk, avocado, spinach, banana, honey, cacao, and maca powder until smooth and creamy. Pour into a glass and enjoy.
EXERCISING WITH THE BUMP
One of the most important things I did to take care of my body during pregnancy was work out. I didn't take it too hard and instead gave myself permission to slow down and go easy: I just wanted to move and get the blood flowing a few times a week. One of the main reasons I love working out is to keep myself sane. If I go longer than 5 days without doing something, I stress out easily and become irritable. Not good, especially with the added hormones and exhaustion of being pregnant. Exercise was important for my mental health as much as for the physical benefits.
Working out during my second pregnancy wasn't as easy, since my firstborn, Camden, was now on the scene. So the only thing I did was exercise at home (often while he napped) to DVD routines that mainly focused on my legs and butt. Sometimes Cam would hang with me while I followed the DVDs. To this day, he likes to "work out with Mommy" and kicks his legs and puts bands around his ankles like it shows on the DVDs. It's pretty darn cute.
WORKING OUT WHILE PREGNANT
Low-impact workouts a few times a week really helped my mind and my body while pregnant. Here are some of the exercises I loved.
Walking uphill on the treadmill.
Using a stairclimber--it's great cardio that isn't too hard on the body with the extra weight of a bump!
Lifting light weights.
Stretching with prenatal yoga--I loved this! It helped with the aches and pains in my lower back.
Following DVDs of floor exercises--I did one called the Brazil Butt Lift, which obviously focused on my legs and butt.
TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF
I found all of my pregnancies to be relatively easy. I owe a huge part of this to diet but also to how I took care of myself physically. I learned how to listen to my body and to go easy when need be. If that meant I was in bed every night at 8:00 p.m., so be it! I also made an effort to be kind to myself in simple, everyday ways. Pampering myself at home on a Saturday required next to nothing and made me feel like a million bucks (see "Mini- Spa Day at Home" on page 25). And instead of meeting up with friends or leaving the house most nights, I simply savored coconut milk or cashew "ice cream" (see pages 227 and 228 for recipes) in bed and caught up on all my favorite shows (well, during the first pregnancy anyway!). It was heaven.
There is no better time to get in tune with your body than during pregnancy. It's an amazing thing to recognize exactly when you need to slow down. Truly knowing what you need and putting yourself first are often the best preventive medicine. I figured out how to read the signs pretty quickly and tried not to feel guilty or like I was missing out when I opted to stay home in pajamas instead of going to dinner with friends.
For example, I learned that attending a horse race in the summer is not the best activity for a pregnant woman. Who would have thought? But I hadn't had the foresight to realize that this sort of thing--which I'd always considered fun--was not going to work for me at 7 months pregnant. A group of us had decided to go to the Iroquois Steeplechase in Nashville (if you aren't familiar, it's like a smaller version of the Kentucky Derby), and I was optimistic that I could hang and enjoy myself without getting tired. But after an hour there--hot and surrounded by sweaty, drunk people--I knew I had made a mistake. Being the only sober person at a super-boozy event wasn't fun, plus I was physically uncomfortable just wandering around with everyone, with no place to sit. I wanted no part of it, so I decided to leave. Even though the after-party was held at our house, I was in bed early, perfectly content, while everyone partied the night away.
Now, pregnant or not, I always try to get plenty of sleep.
I knew that if I had stayed and pushed myself, I would have been exhausted. And honestly, when I'm tired, I'm awful to be around. There's nothing I hate more than being grumpy and tired. I didn't always know this about myself, but it's one of the best things I figured out during pregnancy. Now, pregnant or not, I always try to get plenty of sleep.
Similarly, during my first pregnancy, I was traveling a lot for work and got pulled in every direction. I was back and forth to L.A. for shoe and jewelry design meetings. I was working on a pilot for a TV show that I was producing (unfortunately, the show never got picked up). I flew to New York City for paid events and had multiple photo shoots as well. It was too much. So I started saying yes only to jobs that I absolutely wanted to do. Being on planes while pregnant isn't my favorite thing. And overall, I was too tired and wanted to nest at home, so I had to be truly excited about whatever the offer was to accept. This prepared me for the time after having my babies, when I had to be even pickier about which jobs to take.
Mini-Spa Day at Home
A home spa day is an easy treat that you can give yourself, pregnant or not. I found it especially helpful in reconnecting with my body, which, during pregnancy, can often feel more like a vessel for a foreign object than a thing to be pampered. Here's what I do.
1. Enjoy a nice, long bath. You can add a few drops of lavender oil for a relaxing bath or a couple of drops each of peppermint and lemon oil for a pick-me-up. Rose oil is another girly option I love for its beautiful smell. It's also very sensual.
2. In the bathtub with the bathwater running, exfoliate your face with my "Homemade Coffee Face Scrub" (see the recipe on page 170). Then wipe off the scrub with a washcloth.
3. Apply a natural face mask (see my recipe for "Homemade Moisturizing Face Mask" on page 168). Leave it on for your time in the bath.
4. If your hair is dry, apply a coconut oil hydrating mask, then pull your hair back with a hair tie while the mask works its magic (see page 165 for specifics). Make sure to wash your hair before getting out of the tub. Coconut oil is great because one wash and it's gone.
5. After the bath, moisturize with body oil and whatever moisturizer you like for your face.
6. All the while, make sure to check yourself out in your bathroom mirror naked. The more time I spend with my naked self, the more I appreciate my body, especially while pregnant. A pregnant body is beautiful!
7. Give yourself a manicure and pedicure.
8. Finish the mini-spa with a blow-dry. For me, when my hair looks good, the rest doesn't matter.
SETTLING INTO PREGNANCY
Being pregnant gave me a newfound love and respect for my body that I didn't have before. It's a miracle that our bodies are capable of housing a baby for almost 10 months. If you don't feel great in your skin, just consider how spectacular our bodies are. We are able to give the gift of life! How amazing is that? When your belly is protruding so far you can't go 5 minutes without bumping into something, it will be hard to remember that this is a temporary situation (and one you will likely miss when it's gone--like I did!). But trust me, you will have your body back to yourself one day.
While I loved my pregnant body, especially my belly in the first few months, I started to get self-conscious toward the end. Many physical changes come along with being pregnant, and I found it hard to feel sexy. Besides the obviously expanding belly, my boobs got bigger (that was actually a plus), and I had a couple of pregnancy spots on my face from the sun and little bumps on the backs of my arms and thighs from hormones. Not always so pretty. With our bodies rapidly changing, it's no surprise that most of us need a little reassurance. As silly as it sounds, just telling yourself that you are beautiful is sometimes all you need. No matter how many times Jay told me I was beautiful, it didn't matter unless I felt good about myself. Being your own cheerleader can make all the difference. It all starts within ourselves!
